letting go

It wasn't until after the birth of NPF4 that I started letting go. I had to in order to maintain some type of sanity. I can go to bed with the house semi-messy {still can't have dishes in the sink}, with laundry left in the dryer and shoes sitting by the front door. Yes, this is letting go for me. Yes, my house still looks like a museum but mostly because the Big Guy refuses to let go.  He's a work in progress. At some point I imagine he'll surrender.

I no longer beat myself up for not working out 7 days a week.  I'm satisfied with sweating it out at the gym 2-3 times a week instead. I've even taken a break from my passion; running.  If I can manage a 4am or 11:30pm run I do it.  If not, so be it.

So when the addition we just put on our home turned into a dance floor (a rather expensive one}for M and her friends I just let it go. My visions of mimicking a space similar to the images in Coastal Living have quickly dissolved.  Instead I'm on the hunt for a disco ball. Strangely enough, I'm okay with it. The joy M and her friends get from dancing, running in circles, and rolling around on the floor is better than any imagine in a home decor magazine. Well, kind of.  I still swoon over every single pic in Coastal Living. 

 So cheers to dancing {naked & painted}kiddies, disco balls and just letting go... xox

thanks for being honest...

On Saturday I tell the big guy that  I want to give being a stay at home mom a whirl. Yes, I actually said this. Now breathe. Big guy immediately responds with: being a mom doesn't really come natural to you.  Your just not a natural. I think it's best for you, our marriage and the kids if you continue working part time. Ouch. 

Hey, thanks for your honesty and your vote of confidence too. 

Let's get something straight - I recognize  I'm not a natural.  In fact, I've said it before myself.  I'm not gonna lie though, when someone else utters those words it kind of stings. As much as I hate to admit it the big guy may be right.  He's right roughly 86% of the time when it comes to family matters.  Case in point....

Today I was in NPF4's room changing his diaper.  M was in the room being her usual chipper shelf. For no reason at all she decides to slam the bedroom door shut.  No biggie except for the fact that the door gets stuck and I can't open it.  I am now trapped in a bedroom the size of a jail cell with both kids at 6:30am. I start sweating, crying, laughing.  I'm a mess because  I can't think of anything worse than being TRAPPED in a room with my kids {eh hem - possible sign I should NOT be a sahm}. I open the bedroom window and shout "I need help". My neighbor {the same one that helped me with the flood last week} was outside and came running over.  I was talking to her through the second floor window but I was laughing and crying at the same time.  All I could muster was "we're stuck". She came inside and freed me from my worst nightmare. 

So maybe the big guy is right more like 96% of the time. Whatever the percentage - I'm clearly not wired to be a sahm. xox

Um, no

Good morning.  I'm gonna tear it up folks. Watch out.  If you see me today do yourself a favor - walk in the other direction.

Okay, here we go...

Got home from work last night went upstairs to M's room.  Hear a strange hissing noise. Look around. Nothing.  Step in the direction of the noise onto the area rug. My feet sink.  Water starts rising up from the rug and begins seeping onto the hardwood. The radiator is squirting water. Um, no. No. No. Rug is totally saturated. Stuffed animals soaked.  PB floor cushion and Land of Nod bean bag also saturated.  Dirty gross water everywhere.  Run to the attic grab a huge bin to catch the water.  Meanwhile M & N are downstairs left to their own devices. N crying and M whining.  Put the bin in M's room and go downstairs to check on my little naughties. Crying, whining - what else is new.  Here is where I went horribly wrong - I picked up the phone and called the big guy.  Major freak out.  Hang up phone and do the next most logical thing.  I opened my front door { N now in my arms and M hanging on my leg} and yelled I NEED HELP.  My adorable neighbor was in her front yard watering the lawn and came over. She held N in one arm and a mop in the other.  I held M in one arm and a mop in the other.  Mopped the floor.  Attempted to roll rug and move it - water went EVERYWHERE.  The water had saturated the rug so much that we couldn't even move it. Awesome. This mini flood seeped through to the ceiling of the family room.  The ceiling is now stained, cracked, peeling and bubbling. Really awesome.

Go to bed at 9:30.

The big guy wakes me up at 11:30. Sits on the side of the bed and tells me he's done. Okay.  So I think to myself he finally came to his senses and is going to divorce me.  Nope.  I wouldn't be so lucky. Instead, he goes on a 15 minute tirade about how he is unsatisfied with the contractor and is going to make him stop working on our house.  Um, no.  Did he honestly wake me up to tell me this?  On a good night I get about 4 hours sleep and he just woke me from a dead sleep to rant about this?  He proceeds to tell me he has written an email to the contractor and before he sends it he wants me to give it a gander.  It's now 11:50.  He can't be serious.  Yes, he is serious.  I walk downstairs and read a 4 page email  with the subject line "work stoppage".  You've got to be joking.  I tell the big guy to relax - second biggest mistake of the evening. This led to another rant. This rant somehow turned to the paint colors which he so eloquently told me sucked. Thanks. Blah Blah blah.  He just keeps talking.  Stop.  Just stop. 

Moving on from the "work stoppage" conversation.  He then asks me if I will print out a return address label because he has to send something back to Cracks & Racks. Um, no.  Again, is he serious.  Not to mention what the hell is Cracks and Racks? Apparently he bought something for his truck - it was the wrong item and now he needed to return it.  What? What? What?  

He's done?  For god sake - I'm done.  I walked away; actually ran away and went upstairs back to bed. Obv I couldn't fall asleep so I went on Pinterest to look at paint colors.  

To add insult to injury {we're still mourning the loss of our built-ins} we were given an estimate for a glass shower door. $2,300.  Um, no.  

Clearly the big guy and I are in the wrong professions.  Note to self: encourage my children to learn a trade. Forget spending 150K on undergrad and grad school.  Plumber, electrician, mason, carpenter - that is where it's at folks. 

Um, yes - I'm done. xox

high/low

Hello hotties.  Literally. It's steaming out.

Today we're gonna play a little game called high/low.  I use to begin each class with this.  Every student would share one high and one low from their week.  Today, you are fortunate enough to read about the highs and lows in my life over the course of the past week.  How lucky do you feel?

Let's get the lows out of the way.  Brace yourself.

NPF4 has pneumonia.

M got a bug bite on her forehead which caused her entire face to swell.  

Swollen face resulted in puffy eyes. Puffy eyes created constant itching with dirty hands. Dirty hands + itchy eyes and the end product = conjunctivitis.  Both eyes.  Delicious.

Built-ins are a no go. Contractor reviewed my handouts and gave us an estimate.  It's not gonna happen.  Let's just say you could feed a small country with what is was going to cost for a media center and window seat. I'm taking up donations.  Please be generous.

I broke down and bought paint samples. I suck at picking paint colors.  Yes, we already knew this but I just wanted to reiterate the point. You would vomit if you saw the color samples currently on my wall.  Barf. 

Highs o' the week

My parents hosted M&N at their home for 4 nights.  Yikes.  Basically they never want to see me or my children ever again.  I can't say I blame them. 

Of those 4 nights I got to spend one night alone with the big guy. I forgot how amazing it is to sleep through the night.

My Kayce Hughes matching mama and M outfits came in the mail last week. Swoon.  Yes, I did it again.  Matching ensembles.  This can also be filed under the low for the week because I paid full price for both items and they are now on sale.  Go figure. 

My mom bought me a new pair of TB flats.  I'm pretty sure she did it because she feels bad for me. After spending 4 days with my kids I think she finally understands why I'm a lunatic. 

George Zimmerman was found not guilty. Yes. Yes. Yes. 

In case you were curious. C'mon - you know you are.

 

That's all folks. Stay cool. xox

help

Can someone PLEASE  help me select paint colors for our new space.  I'm inept.  It is truly the impossible task.  I would rather run a marathon with a snowsuit on in 100 degree weather with no water than pick out paint colors.  I cannot even put into words how torturous a process it is for me. Going on a month now since my contractor asked me to decide on colors.  Oops.  Nothing like holding up a project due to indecisiveness.

Honestly, I need help {I know not just with paint colors}. We can focus on my other imperfections at another time. Before you roll your eyes at the BM colors I'm currently crushing on you need to understand something:  THIS IS THE ONE AREA OF MY LIFE WHERE I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO VISION.  I am incapable of visualizing how these colors will look on the wall.








Before you make suggestions I need to get a few things out of the way. No, I will not buy samples. No, I will not pay someone $100 from Waters & Brown to select my colors for me {that is what I have ya'll for}. No gray.  M & N's rooms are gray.  I need a change.  No yellow. No orange. No red. Absolutely no purple. I would like to stick with blues, blue-greens and whites. I need family room, bedroom, bathroom and closet colors. Find the perfect colors for me. Now.

Ready. Set. Go. xox

Let's Pa Pa Partay

Hello.  No time for nonsense today. I've got TONS of important stuff to write. Pay attention.

So I asked the big guy for 2K in cash yesterday. Obviously he asked why.  Seriously, can't he just fork over the loot? Does he not realize that his life and mine would be much easier if he didn't ask questions. Annoying. I tell him I need to start planning our September cookout.  His response - oh, I thought you were going to do something responsible like pay off the remainder of  your graduate school loans. My response - why would I do that? The end. Convo over. Okay, so this conversation clearly did not go in the direction I was hoping. Stay tuned because this is what I do know:

 I am having a cookout

 I am having a cookout

I am having a cookout

 The big guy is funding said cookout

Now that we've settled that let's move on to my cookout/clambake vision.  You've seen me write this before and it still holds true - what  I want and what I get are typically two very different things. Here's what I'm envisioning.  Lobstah, extra butter, salty meat, booze and steel drums. Sheer perfection.  Can you see it?

 MY VISION

 For those of you lucky enough to be at my wedding - steel drums.

   Busting a move during the cocktail reception. Hi mom. What a hot ticket.

 Now that you know my vision, it's time to share.... 

MY REALITY

 Seriously, for being a totes thorn in my side he truly is a handsome devil. Awe.  How sweet. 

Now show me the money!!!

 That's all folks.  Stay tuned to see how this all unfolds. Or just go wait by your mailbox for the invite because I AM HAVING A COOKOUT.  xox

 

Thirty Percent

It gives me great pleasure to report that I'm on my way to achieving my goal.  Tuesday evening I gave my contractor these lovely handouts.  Yes, handouts. Each picture was numbered and on a separate sheet of paper I outlined the exact piece o' furniture I wanted him to create from the various images below.  My design includes a few components from each pic.  OMG. How fun is this????  I cannot wait to show you the final product.  I'm falling back in love with my house all over again.  What a feeling.  Now if I could just fall back in love all over again with the big guy. Who brought the funny gal?

Okay, here's the deal.  I'm having a built-in entertainment center created for the back wall in our new family room.  We don't have a fireplace in this new space {but I did just custom order new tile for the fireplace in our old family room}.  I'll post about that add on project at another time.   30% can you hear me coming?  I digress.  So, built-in stand for the TV because I HATE wall mounted TV's.  Don't ask me why because I don't have an answer. I just do. TV stand, bookshelves and storage space - that is the goal.

The lovelies below are pictures for the window seat  I'm having built for my bedroom.  I'm going to have a window seat. Yah!  Yes! Yipee!  I adore window seats.  Can you sense my excitement? This also means I'll get to pick out fabric for pillows and a cushion.  OMG. OMG. OMG.  30% is so within my reach. 

Never underestimate a gal armed with her husband's BOA card that spends hours upon hours on Pinterest.  I can and will achieve my goal. xox

Let's Play

Amid the poop, profanities and pending verbal assaults....

   

 We still play. 

Although fleeting, these are the moments I cherish. These moments help to keep me grounded.  These moments bring me back to reality and lend perspective when I start to stray. These moments make me realize my life is pretty swell. These moments make all the poop and everything else that comes along with being a parent worth it. xox

Mission Possible

Our contractor told us last week that we haven't gone a penny over budget.  Der. Of course we are not a penny over budget.  The big guy is financial planner extraordinaire. At first I though this was pretty cool. As the day progressed and this tid bit o' information had time to resonate I became annoyed.  Very annoyed.

Aren't you supposed to go over budget by 20%?  Why can't we be like everyone else in the world and spend 20% more than we anticipated?  Truly, you have no idea how this angers me.  So much so that my new mission in life is to go over budget. Screw 20%. I'm setting my sights higher. 30% here I come. No, I have not shared this goal with the big guy.  Sssh.  I need to make this happen. I will make this happen. 

I'll start with this for my bedroom. I need two.  A little multiplication: $1,575 x 2 = $3,150. Can you even handle the AMAZING-NESS of this semi-flush mount?  

For M's room.  $1,175. SWOON.

 I will not fail. There is light at the end of this tunnel. 30% - I can do it! xox

SL

This post is loooong overdue.  SL was fantastic.  We spent 6 hours walking around the park without incident.  Personally, I think this is amazing given the ages of the children  involved.

There's something about going away with friends you've known for the last 15 years of your life. I can't put my finger on it.  Well, maybe I can. We all met in college - so I guess what I'm trying to say is that we've seen the worst of each other.  Social decorum is non-existent. When you step out of the shower- look into the foggy bathroom mirror to a picture of a man's genitalia drawn on the steamed up glass and are completely un-phased you know you have gone away with the right people. Yes, at age 34 the male and female anatomy are still funny to me.

This was my first attempt at getting the crew to smile for the camera.  Unsuccessful.  Obv.
Please pay special attention to the mishandling of NPF4.

MOO.  I've got nothing else to say about this one.  For once I'm at a complete and UTTER loss for words.

Happiness Is..

 OMG. I'm in love.  This coming from a gal who doesn't really like anyone's kids but her own. Let's be honest, some days I'm not even certain I like my own lil' naughties. Yes, I just wrote that. Ouch.

 Rave?  Why not.

NPF4.  I'm sorry.  So sorry.

SL was a hoot. I believe we're going back in September for some more friends & family fun. xox