Blurred Vision

I have a vision. A gorgeous vision. Close your eyes and visualize with me for a moment...

Toddler girl. Infant boy. Beautifully dressed.  Crisp, clean and stain free.  Smiling, happy siblings frolicking in the sun. Behaving like normal human beings wearing the likes of Lilly, Burberry, Vineyard Vines, and J Crew. Can you see it?

Lil' fella...

                                                                                     

      

                                                                             

and his fierce big sister...

having a whale of a time...

Now open your eyes. No, your vision isn't blurred.  This is my REALITY.  Wrinkled and stain ridden. Semi-happy, drooling, teething siblings sitting on the couch watching Barney wearing the likes of Carters, Target and Walmart brand clothing.   

I snapped this beauty last evening. My gal is sporting a gorgeous Carters onesie with a pair of amazing orange velor pants.  Score.

Wow, this is a gem. Another Carters onesie laden with stains from the Chef Boyardee ravioli we had for dinner.  My wee one also in Carters.  Style icons? I think so.

 

And there you have it. With the blink of an eye my vision is gone. xox

Floral Faux Pas

Got an email yesterday from J Crew.  I typically welcome any and all email from J Crew.  This particular email was about the 6 things you need to see at J Crew.  Finding your floral was one of the 6 things you need to see.  Please, I beg of you - DO NOT FIND YOUR FLORAL - especially in the form of pants.

If you haven't gotten the memo floral pattern pants are "all the rage" as my mom would say.  In this case mom is right. The ugliness of floral pants ignites some type of rage within me.  Honestly, don't wear them UNLESS you are over 6 feet tall and weigh less than 120 pounds.  No joke.  Yes, I am discriminating against all the big boned gals out there.  These pants are not for you so go eat another slab o' cake.  They really aren't for anyone but runway models because the floral pattern makes them look less emaciated - models you should indulge in some cake too.  I'm laughing my big boned girl ass off right now as I write this. Whoot. Whoot.

Do not wear these.  Pretty please.

 

Fun & fantastically acceptable floral.

Floral for the wee ones is always acceptable.

Thank you in advance for not turning into a walking garden and creating the ultimate floral faux pas. xox

let them eat cake

HBD to me.  34 years young.  Please bake me one of these sweet sugary delights.  NOW.

Wow, 34 years and there are still so many things I simply don't understand....

~why mayonnaise isn't considered a food group~

~why Barack Obama is POTUS~ (baffling)

~why Volvo doesn't use the slogan "the car made for drinking and driving"~ (jk, but not really.  I asked my mechanic this question.  He was in stitches. Hubby not so much)

~why women wear makeup and their hair down while working out at the gym~ (infuriating to me)

 

Obv I have a million other things that baffle me but I would much rather share with you the beauties I am currently coveting.  Treats. Goodies. Stuff. I love stuff. 

Elva Fields. Swoon. Want em' all.   

This J CREW ensemble is perfection.  Honestly, this lil' number is amazing.  Want it.  Really want it.

Lilly Love

 

 

Devon Baer.  Never disappoints.

Nifty Nauticals

 

Life is short. Have your cake and eat it too. xox