i am amazing

Yup, you read that correctly.  A.MAZE.ING.  I'm mentally exhausted after yesterday's post, so today I've decided to share with you some of the reasons I am so effing great. Ready. Set. Go.

I know I am amazing because:

• When M puked in my bed last week I just covered it with a towel and went back to sleep.
• I put my hood and sunglasses on at 5:30pm and tiptoed into Dunks to buy my kids munchkins for dinner cause I was too lazy to cook BUT I got busted by a fellow daycare parent in line for coffee behind me.   
• I told the BG that Crew Cuts was having a sale and that I needed to buy M clothes when in fact there was no such sale.  The J Crew spring line had just come out and I needed to buy new garb for myself.
• I let my kids watch hours of television so I can try to beat level 158 on Candy Crush.
• I hide in the bathroom and pour M&M's into my mouth instead of giving them as a reward to M when she does tinks and toots in the toilet AND then when she asks where the M&M's have gone I tell her that dada ate them.
• A friend recently informed me that I almost hit her with my shaggin wagon when she was in the crosswalk attempting to cross the street because I wasn't paying attention. Ouch.
• I read FB statuses and posts by other moms regarding paleo diets, red #19193048, cloth diapers, no tv time and think to myself  - my kids are going to turn out so much cooler than yours.  Or fatter.
• I don't keep track of the money in my checking account and got declined for $2.41 at Dunks drive thru for having insufficient funds WHILE the BG was sitting in the passengers seat thus resulting in the lecture of a lifetime.
• I pick up the phone when my kids are doing something completely unsafe or disgusting and record them or take a pic instead of reprimanding them.
• I tell M on a daily basis that Calliou is the worst character on the face of the earth and that if she continues to watch the show she will have no friends.

You are jealous.  Being amazing is no easy feat. Carry on lovelies. xox

steppin' out

I'm getting gussied up and going out. {yay} I have plans every weekend this month. Apparently I have friends.  Who knew? Actually, I'm just taking my life back.  Hells ya, takin' it back.  Shout out to m&d for watching m&n. Heading out with the big guy and I'm beyond excited for our month o' festivities.

I'm so verklempt {wow, big word} I don't even know where to begin. Let's start with how I feel like a celebrity.  Actually, in my head I am a celebrity. Obvs. Whatever gets you through the day right?

Anyway, my outfits are so freaking fabulous I can't even stand it.  Again, in my head they are fab. The jury is still out on whether they are fab or flop.

Okay, getup number 1.  You will find me all aglow in these bold, bright J Crew slacks.  I bought these maybe 4 years ago and they are still a-maz-ing.  Note to self: to avoid looking like a jack-o-lantern do not pair any black with these bad boys.

After much ado, here are the pants.  It wasn't easy searching through hundreds of Google images trying to find pants I purchased 4 years ago. {perhaps too much time on my hands} And the top I introduced you to a few weeks back.

Okay, so I've proved that I stink at the whole visual presentation thing hence the reason this blog is always a cluster.  All you need is vision. Visualize this ensemble on a 5'8 tan brunette with the best personality evah. Now do you see?  It's a work of art. Not sure what to do about the shoe situation. I stink at picking out shoes too. Stinker.

Getup #2. This is another oldie but goodie.  Got this Clover Canyon shirt for my bday last year and I'm still as in love with it as the day I got it.  OBSESSED. How gorgeous is the split back?

I'll be sporting this beauty with my dark wash Paige jeans or my GAP white skinny jeans.  Don't worry, I'll keep you in the loop on what I decide. After all, it is a very important decision.

I have two more outfits in the works.  Stay tuned.  I just need to rob a bank or do the usual and steal the hubby's cc so I can bring them to fruition. xox

O hi.

Will you please come live in my closet?  Yes, you.

J Crew rarely disappoints - well aside from the floral faux pas a few weeks ago.  I will always make space for this dainty daisy darling in my closet. xox.

Psst... just a friendly lil' warning -  my J Crew obsession emerges full force every spring.  Excessive? Never. 

Next week I'll start back in with my need to have nautical. Unoriginal? Maybe.

Ooops I did it again...

Before I had children I swore I would feed them healthy food, discipline them and not allow them to watch television.  Fail on all counts. Actually, there are a whole host of other things I swore I wouldn't do as a parent, but like anything in life you don't know what or how you are going to react until you experience it.

So, with this being said I'm sure at some point (prior to kids) I witnessed a mother and daughter wearing matching ensembles and rolled my eyes.  Ooops. 

I just purchased these two items from J Crew Factory online.

For me and my gal...

I can't even handle myself.   LOVE both of these pieces. Whether me and my love wear them on the same day - that remains to be seen.  If you do see us walking the streets of M'head its totes acceptable for you to roll your eyes. I would. 

Hopefully they don't get delivered to the door when the big guy is home because there will def be eye rolling.  Stay tuned. xox

Splish Splash

Hey. I haven't been slacking.  For the second time in a month I have a sinus infection and ear infection.  Seriously, what 34 year old gets ear infections?  Ugh.  So today's post is dedicated to SUMMAH.  I'm skipping right over Spring and moving on to 80 degree weather, beers on the beach, sand between your toes and sun kissed faces.  I need the summer. ASAP.

Swimwear.  Yes.  It's bathing suit time my fellow friends. Suck it up or in some cases suck it in.   I am ready.  Four months post baby and this rockin mama is bikini ready.  Gloating.  Just a little.  If you're not ready, well get moving.  You won't get any sympathy from this gal.  No excuses - especially the "I don't have time" line. You are no busier than anyone else.  Make the time. I've said my piece. Now get to the gym or get shopping.  Your choice.

I choose to shop.

Nautical. Obviously.

Be-Jeweled Beauties

One Piece Wonders

Retro Rad

Basic Bikini

Kardashian Style

Bring. It. On.  This gal is ready for some fun in the sun. xox

Blurred Vision

I have a vision. A gorgeous vision. Close your eyes and visualize with me for a moment...

Toddler girl. Infant boy. Beautifully dressed.  Crisp, clean and stain free.  Smiling, happy siblings frolicking in the sun. Behaving like normal human beings wearing the likes of Lilly, Burberry, Vineyard Vines, and J Crew. Can you see it?

Lil' fella...

                                                                                     

      

                                                                             

and his fierce big sister...

having a whale of a time...

Now open your eyes. No, your vision isn't blurred.  This is my REALITY.  Wrinkled and stain ridden. Semi-happy, drooling, teething siblings sitting on the couch watching Barney wearing the likes of Carters, Target and Walmart brand clothing.   

I snapped this beauty last evening. My gal is sporting a gorgeous Carters onesie with a pair of amazing orange velor pants.  Score.

Wow, this is a gem. Another Carters onesie laden with stains from the Chef Boyardee ravioli we had for dinner.  My wee one also in Carters.  Style icons? I think so.

 

And there you have it. With the blink of an eye my vision is gone. xox