Floral Faux Pas

Got an email yesterday from J Crew.  I typically welcome any and all email from J Crew.  This particular email was about the 6 things you need to see at J Crew.  Finding your floral was one of the 6 things you need to see.  Please, I beg of you - DO NOT FIND YOUR FLORAL - especially in the form of pants.

If you haven't gotten the memo floral pattern pants are "all the rage" as my mom would say.  In this case mom is right. The ugliness of floral pants ignites some type of rage within me.  Honestly, don't wear them UNLESS you are over 6 feet tall and weigh less than 120 pounds.  No joke.  Yes, I am discriminating against all the big boned gals out there.  These pants are not for you so go eat another slab o' cake.  They really aren't for anyone but runway models because the floral pattern makes them look less emaciated - models you should indulge in some cake too.  I'm laughing my big boned girl ass off right now as I write this. Whoot. Whoot.

Do not wear these.  Pretty please.

 

Fun & fantastically acceptable floral.

Floral for the wee ones is always acceptable.

Thank you in advance for not turning into a walking garden and creating the ultimate floral faux pas. xox

bold, bright & beautiful

I'm loving the color craze that is taking over the fashion world right now.  Slacks, shorts, skirts, shifts, shirts, shoes, satchels - you name it.  The brighter the better.  Yes, I used the word slacks.  How about dungarees?  Does anyone have a father that still refers to jeans as dungarees?  I do.  Be jealous.  Anyway, it's all about color. As we all know trends come and go so my suggestion is to fill up your closet for the season, but don't spend a fortune. Maybe the title of  this post should've been Thrifty Thursday.  You know the deal -  it's in today but out tomorrow.  I recommend GAP if you want colorful dungarees at a reasonable price.  Buy a size smaller though because they stretch.  After one wear it will look like you have a load in your pants.  No joke. Toot. Toot.

Slacks.

Shorts.

Skirts.

Shifts.

Shirts.

Shoes & Satchels

Okay, disregard my Thrifty Thursday comment.  Half the stuff I posted cost more than what I make in a month of work.  Waaaa.  Good day my friends.  Be bold. Be bright. Be beautiful. xox