who knew

It was a bold assumption to think my second child would be mellow.  Very bold. Based on my logic it wouldn't be possible or fair to have a second child as crazy as the first.  Makes total sense. Right?  Wrong.  Very wrong. M is the true definition of a high maintenance gal.  Can't imagine where she gets that from. Takes one to know one. He haw. She is a spunky, loud, hyperactive three year old with absolutely no listening skills.  Okay, I can deal.


Now throw NPF4 into the mix. I can't deal. NPF4 is feistier, louder and fiercer than M.  Yup, you read that correctly.  Fiercer. My 22 pound fifteen month old has a temper unmatched by no other (well, maybe his mama.) The kid is totes insane.  My little guy is a wrecking ball, leaving a path of destruction behind him wherever he goes...

Went to the doc's office on Friday and was checking in at the front desk. M decides to take off her boots. When I'm done with check-in M is sitting in the waiting room picking her nose and NPF4 is nowhere in sight.  "M where is NPF4? Where are your boots?  Please stop picking your nose." She points to the bathroom. I open the door and M's boots are submerged in the toilet while NPF4 has a smile from ear to ear and is holding up his hand waiting for me to slap him a high-five.  Now, it's totes impossible to get mad at the kid because he is beyond clueless.  I mean c'mon, I'm still basking in the fact that he just learned to wave and high-five. So, being the amazing mom that I am - I did nothing except text my friends to tell them.

Now trust me, I get it's not an easy age.  The kid is into everything. But I truly, never in my wildest dreams thought that both of my kids would be certifiable.  I know what your thinking - apple doesn't fall far from the tree.  Why is it that M & NPF4 seem to have inherited all of my best qualities - they have explosive tempers, are annoyingly loud and are incapable of comprehending the word NO. It's totes not a part of their vocab. Things that make you go hmmm.

So who knew two crazies were a potential? It sure wasn't on my radar. That's all I've got. I must enjoy some me time because M & NPF4 are at daycare today while this gal has a snow day. File this under: WINNING. xox

Two & Through

My family is complete.  I have two kids a husband and a dog. So save yourself the breath no need to ask if we're having a third child. NO.  For once the Big Guy and I are on the exact same page - two & through.  It's prolly the only thing we're 100% certain of. Actually, I'm 100% certain that I need this DY necklace with M & N charms but hell, I won't hold my breath.  So don't waste yours and I won't hold mine. Woof.

Having 3 children seems to be the "norm" these days.  In fact, most of my friends and family have 3 kids. For all you mamas and dadas that have three or more kids - I'm in awe of you everyday.  Kudos. Very big kudos.  

In the rare and very unlikely event that we do decide to expand our family I would adopt.  The reasons being: 1)  it's something I've always wanted to do 2) I would adpot a teenager old enough to watch M & N so I don't have to pay my sitter $18 an hour. Bam. Wicked smart. 3) I'm petrified to get pregnant and give birth to another preemie.

Here is why two is enough for this gal:

• I cannot sacrifice anymore of my myself.  I don't think I have anything left to give. Truly.  The more kids you have the more of yourself and your time you have to sacrifice.  I don't think I can go there. I'm working on getting me back.

• My marriage cannot withstand another child. Seriously. Marriage is hard work.  Anyone who says otherwise is full of crap. Marriage with children is super hard work.  Anyone who says otherwise is extremely full of crap.  It's not easy. Then again, nothing worth doing is easy.

• You've read this before. I'm not a natural.  Motherhood does not come easy to me.  I have absolutely no clue what I'm doing and I'm okay admitting this.  The only thing I know how to do is make  homemade mac and cheese to feed them and to love them.  Other than that I'm flying by the seat of my pants. {NPF4 just got over a staff infection. I failed to tell the doctor that I left him diaper-less and unattended for all of 4 minutes and he crapped himself.  When I came back into the room he was playing with his toots like it was Play-Doh} Case in point.

• I'm insanely materialistic.  Again, you've read this before. I love stuff. I love spending money on ME.  More kids = less spending on me. 

• I want to go to the bathroom and be able to fully wipe my behind without holding a 1 year old and having my almost 3 year old trying to paint my toenails at the same time. Along the same lines - I would love to shower alone, talk on the phone alone, shop alone. You get my point.  Another wee one in the house just prolongs all this alone time I'm apparently craving. 

• My V can't handle it.  Enough said on this one. 

• I'm a runner.  I want to start training and running marathons. My running options at the moment - 4am or 11pm and I can't image they would improve with another tot in the house.

• I would have to buy a bigger car.  Absolutely not. Volvo does not make anything larger than the wagon.  True fact.  No, the SUV is not larger inside based on square footage.  I swoon over Volvo's and I will not drive any other car. With that being said a third child would have to be strapped to the roof.

• Signs.  I believe in signs.  The fact that NPF4 is here with us today is nothing short of a miracle.  I don't take one bit of my good fortune for granted and I am blessed and content with two healthy children. Trying for a third would be like playing with fire.

• Oh and the best reason of all - I'm a smart gal and I know my limits.  I've reached my limit.  I'm okay with this and being honest with myself.

Ta da!  What a lovely lil' list. You're enlightened - so keep on breeding my friends! xox