2013 is over so naturally I find myself compelled to bestow all the wisdom and knowledge I've gained this past year onto YOU. Yes, you feel like you've hit the lottery. You'll be rich in mind, body, and spirit after reading this post. Speaking of rich - one of my goals for 2014 is to "be rich." Legit. Big guy and I had a lengthy conversation about how to bring this to fruition in 2014. It ended with - well, nothing. Absolutely nothing. I digress.
Back to the other kind of non-monetary richness you'll gain after reading this.
So I'm totes one of those gals that always needs a "project." I always need a focus, a to-do list. I can't sit still - I've never been good at loafing around. I'm not happy unless I have something to work toward or look forward to. It kind of sucks. For a long time I beat the crap out of myself for never just "being." Being content in the moment doesn't work for me - or maybe it does but it's super hard. Before I even finish one project or task I'm already asking myself "what's next?"
Planning a wedding. Training and running marathons. Perfecting my house. Focusing on being skinny. Trying to get prego. Blah. Blah. Blah. You get it. I think.
When you live life this way often times you forget to enjoy the present because you're so focused on the future. But what happens when the Big Guy makes one statement and somehow it all becomes clear. Yup, this rarely occurs because 85% of the time I'm not really listening especially when the Big Guy is doing the talking. I know, I'm keeping you in suspense. You're dying to know what he said.
But first you have to get through this:
Last March I came home from a 6 mile run, laid on my kitchen floor dripping in sweat and cried like a baby. I looked up at the Big Guy and said "I'm lost. I'm so lost and I feel so out of control." Like really? Lost? If someone said that to me I prolly would have handed them a map and said be on your way. Now, the Big Guy is a total pain in my ass but somehow he managed to say the right thing in this moment. He responded - I know. I was just waiting for you to ask for help. It's ok. We can do this.
And so it began the journey to figure out what I'm doing with myself and my life. Amazing huh? I know, you're still waiting for the words that changed it all. Well the short of it is that not until after NPF4 turned one in October did I start to feel like me again. Yup, I'm a slow bloomer. I blame it on the Big Guy because had he made this statement when I was having my meltdown back in March instead of October the year may have played out a tad different.
This was all it took - YOU'RE LIVING THE LIFE YOU ALWAYS WANTED. What? Ding. Ding. Ding. Is he right? OMG. Was this it? Could that simple statement be the kick in the ass that I need to get it together?
Back in 1999 the Big Guy and I would hop in his car and drive from Merrimack College to Marblehead and admire all the houses and talk about how amazing it would be to live there. To raise a family there. When I recall those conversations all I remember is that I wanted a home in Mhead and a family. Go figure - I have the house and two healthy children. We have each other, health and happiness. I'm working on the wealth.
Cheers and happy 2014. This is my year and I'm beyond excited to live it and more importantly to live it in the moment. xox
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