Floral Faux Pas

Got an email yesterday from J Crew.  I typically welcome any and all email from J Crew.  This particular email was about the 6 things you need to see at J Crew.  Finding your floral was one of the 6 things you need to see.  Please, I beg of you - DO NOT FIND YOUR FLORAL - especially in the form of pants.

If you haven't gotten the memo floral pattern pants are "all the rage" as my mom would say.  In this case mom is right. The ugliness of floral pants ignites some type of rage within me.  Honestly, don't wear them UNLESS you are over 6 feet tall and weigh less than 120 pounds.  No joke.  Yes, I am discriminating against all the big boned gals out there.  These pants are not for you so go eat another slab o' cake.  They really aren't for anyone but runway models because the floral pattern makes them look less emaciated - models you should indulge in some cake too.  I'm laughing my big boned girl ass off right now as I write this. Whoot. Whoot.

Do not wear these.  Pretty please.

 

Fun & fantastically acceptable floral.

Floral for the wee ones is always acceptable.

Thank you in advance for not turning into a walking garden and creating the ultimate floral faux pas. xox